Still Living after loss: Total Tear Jerker Song.....

Still Living after loss: Total Tear Jerker Song.....

Jordan's Story Part 2

So, I thank God, for the chance to hold my baby, to rock her, to sing and to read to her. It was 19 days later, when I got to see my baby again. January 25, 2007, at the funeral home. JB and I had an hour with Jordan, all alone. I will never forget that day, I am not gonna lie- I was scared! not sure what she would look like. They handed my angel to me, so beautiful and pink, wrapped in her fuzzy blanket, w/ her white satin bonnet on. Oh Lord, give me strength! As I write this, I feel that heart exploding grief come over me. I am raw, trying to heal. Her baby Bible, signed by her Daddy and me- "Eternal Love" that says it all.
One step at a time- I'll try again later.

Jordan's story

January 06, 2007 is a day that changed our lives forever! Once we were at the hospital, I realized something was wrong. But I thought it was with me. The protein in my urine was high, suggesting kidney failure, severe back pain (I thought I was in labor- what do I know?) Jordan's heart rate was good. They do an amnio(can't remember why?) suddenly her heart beat is gone! Augh, the fear and anxiety was thick in the room. Everyone started shouting and moving so fast. My doctor tells me, we are going in for emergency c- section (he actually explained it as' crash and splash'-Wow!) Next thing I know, I am starting to come to, trying to comprehend the words that no mother wants to hear. My baby is stillborn...NO NO! why Lord?!!! Needless to say, I have gone through my phases of doubt in my faith. When words of comfort sound like BLAH BA-Blah!

Wow, I thought I was ready to tell Jordan's story. Maybe later...